Famous (07-07-25)
Famous
In life you have to have some luck and that starts at birth. I certainly wasn't born rich. The only thing I inherited from my father is shortness of breath and a gloomy view of nature. In my teens I read a lot, liked to play football and dreamed of becoming famous. I still read, I don't believe in a future as a footballer anymore. And becoming famous?
MISCONCEPTION
As a celebrity you have a lot of advantage over other people, that's what I dreamed as a teenager. Because:
-If you play a few notes of the recorder without whining, then you are very musical.
-If you happily hop up the steps of your pigeon loft as a celebrity, then you are extremely agile.
-If you manage to wipe your ass with your own hands, you will be praised for your entrepreneurial spirit.
-If you can hit the neighbour's cat from 1 meter with a lump of sand, you will be praised for your sharp eye.
- If it's your birthday as a celebrity, everyone celebrates, you are in all the newspapers, you appear on TV. I'm not sure that Putin, or Xi or that guy from North Korea read my columns, if so they will certainly recognize themselves in this.
I also have regular birthdays, but nothing like that for me. No sack races, no people hanging out the flag, I don't get on the news on tv either.
I even have to make an effort just to show the immediate environment that I exist.
I tried it once. On yes... A birthday,
I sat down in my car, opened the window and started waving exuberantly to all the people who passed by. Not to mention kisses. I wanted to experience how that feels. After half an hour I was gently taken away by two nurses.
LOVES
What famous singers and footballers also have in store is that they effortlessly get the most beautiful women out of their clothes. Something that contrasts very much with the boundless toil of the 'common man' to achieve the same.
Never before have I experienced a local beauty looking at me in love when I was waiting for the pigeons in my dustcoat. You would still believe that celebrities have more libido. Take Elisabeth 1, Empress of Russia (1709-1762).
She is said to have had 150 lovers. As an ordinary village girl, you should give it a try.
Napoleon is said to have had more mistresses than Louis IV, Elon Musk, King Baudouin and Prince Bernard combined.
And he was a fierce one, his first wife revealed. On their wedding night, the dog who thought he was attacking her jumped furiously on the bed, under the covers and bit him so hard that he, that is, Napoleon, cried out in pain. Where he was bitten has never become clear. In short, being famous is not what it seems and on top of that, as a celebrity you can't make it to be stupid. Reading a lot can help with that.
READ
For example, I read in that Danish magazine that staying sexually active longer is good for your physical but especially mental health. Quitting at a young age could lead to dementia.
You don't want to think about meeting your wife in the attic stairs at night and you find it necessary to introduce yourself to her.
Now I'm not someone who just takes everything for granted, so I went to the retirement center 'life starts at 80' , which is famous for its fit elderly.
Until late at night they had seen very old couples walking in the garden and strange noises in the bushes had already raised many an eyebrow. I wanted to know more about it and went to investigate.
INVESTIGATION
A man of at least ninety opened the door.
'431 BC', I got straight to the point.
'Sparta at war with Athens.'
Uh ??? That was impressive. Could also be luck. I tried again.
511? He thought for a moment. Then: The year Clovis died.
This was not normal. But, with the speed of mind that is so characteristic of me, I thought 'this could also be a retired historian'.
One more time: 1648?
No response. Gotcha. Pfff.
A lady with a walker came to bring coffee. So why not test her too?
Which pigeon won 2 times in a row International Barcelona?
A pigeon from Demaret in 1962 and 1963.
What was all this here? Never experienced it before. Switching up a level:
The names of five famous pigeon fanciers who start with the letter E. Like English.
The old lady looked at me with pity: 'E' can also be a figure sir.
It is the phenomenon in which the degree of change is proportional to the magnitude. You know the formula 'z=a+bi', don't you?
I didn't react; she understood.
'I'll give an example. Take one euro. With 100% interest, you have 2 euros after a year. With 2 times 50 percent you have 2.25 € after a year.’
My calculator gave the same result. Completely distraught, I let myself fall a little further on a chair. But that was not the end of my suffering.
FURTHER SUFFERING
I didn't know what to do better than look outside. While tumbling down, a very elderly person came rolling down the garden path. After a double somersault, he stood up straight and waved.
I felt like an Eagle: 'This could be heaven and this could be hell.' And dizzy. But I was not given much rest. A lady of at least 85 with a provocative gown and a lustful look winked and beckoned me to the open door of what was supposed to be her room. 'With all due respect lady', I thought. 'But nipples below the navel don't appeal to me that much. Can I ask something?' She nodded.
'Which pigeon won a car 2 years in a row?'
'That was 'The Blind' by Dusee from Tilburg. That was not an easy man. That's why I'm going to refresh my memory a bit now.'
She grabbed the walker of an old man who just passed by, grabbed him by the shoulder and dived into the aforementioned room with him.
Shortly afterwards you heard her crowing with pleasure. I opened another room door but didn't know how quickly to close it when I saw that a 'couple of gray' was rehearsing there.
THE SECRET
I wanted to get out of here. The 'doorman' of yesteryear was still standing at the entrance. He turned to me:
'Fortunately, you are still here. 1648, did you say when you entered? I remember. The Peace of Münster.' I was crushed and started asking myself questions.
Could the reverse also be true?
Did neglecting your sex life with parent also mean that stupidity would strike and you would forget more quickly? The old man turned to me again.
"What kind of car do you have, sir?" 'Um, um, what kind of car? Let's think. Sorry. Completely forgotten for sure.'